she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
