I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
