I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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