I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
