I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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