Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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