my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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