we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
