if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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