Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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