The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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