i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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