yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
