My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If I die, sorry about rent.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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