whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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