she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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