So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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