Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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