I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
