dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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