I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
