Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
