I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
