Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
