May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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