New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
