My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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