Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize