wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
