I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
