plz talk dirty to me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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