Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
