im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
