my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
