my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
