Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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