just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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