just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize