it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
