No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
