A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Holy shit dude........stairs
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