Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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