Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
