I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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