I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
