Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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