my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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