What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
