This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
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I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
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Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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