He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
