moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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