Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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