Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
