We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
