we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
