with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
