four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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