Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
