Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
