Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
