yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
