Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize